Well it's the last day. I'm impressed that I have made it this far without being involved in any footballing activities. Yeah, there's been times when I have almost broken the ban, but I've resisted temptation and feel like embracing the last day.
On the whole, I'm looking forward to having football back in my life. I've probably taken it too seriously in the past, but I have missed it throughout the forty days. I have even bought a copy of the new footy manager and have a tape of all the MoTDs that have missed in preparation for tomorrow.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Days Thirty Eight and Thirty Nine - 2nd & 3rd January
Nearly there!
The first weekend in January is famous for one thing - FA Cup third round day. The day when shocks happen and cup dreams become reality. It is undoubtedly one of the highlights of the footballing calendar, and unfortunately for me, I can't watch it. Saturdays throughout the ban have not been enjoyable, and I am glad that this is my last one.
I decide, like many people do at this time of year, that the Christmas turkey has taken its toll on me and I have to get fit. Unable to turn to f**tball, I instead choose to go for a run. I manage about 5k, but am well and truly knackered by the end of it. To toast my avoidance of football during the weekends, I go out with friends for a few drinks. In the past six weeks, I have discovered that there are actually bars that do not show football, and choose one of them to go to. As I head into the fortieth and final day of my non football spell, I am in good spirit.
The first weekend in January is famous for one thing - FA Cup third round day. The day when shocks happen and cup dreams become reality. It is undoubtedly one of the highlights of the footballing calendar, and unfortunately for me, I can't watch it. Saturdays throughout the ban have not been enjoyable, and I am glad that this is my last one.
I decide, like many people do at this time of year, that the Christmas turkey has taken its toll on me and I have to get fit. Unable to turn to f**tball, I instead choose to go for a run. I manage about 5k, but am well and truly knackered by the end of it. To toast my avoidance of football during the weekends, I go out with friends for a few drinks. In the past six weeks, I have discovered that there are actually bars that do not show football, and choose one of them to go to. As I head into the fortieth and final day of my non football spell, I am in good spirit.
Days Thirty Six and Thirty Seven - 31st December & 1st January
Happy new year everyone!
Although for me its not a happy beginning to the new year. This is due to the fact that the first of January is marked by the opening of the transfer window. I wonder if my club has been involved in any business so far. I've decided that in the bliss of knowing nothing about what has happened in football in the last six weeks I will make a few predictions about what will happen during the window.
#
Man City will not sign any world class players.
I still don't buy this whole Man City revolution thing. Why would Kaka or Buffon want to go to Eastlands? And I doubt that Mark Hughes would want a team full of fancy foreigners anyway. Expect City to aim for more realistic targets such as Santa Cruz, Lucas Neill, Gareth Barry and Michael Owen to be on their radar.
#
Andrey Arshavin will move.
With the Russian season over, I doubt Zenit will be able to deny the classy winger his desire of a move to one of Europe's best. Expect Chelsea, Barcelona and Spurs to be possible suitors for the Russian.
#
Loan moves will dominate.
With money tight, it is likely that the majority of goings on in this window will be loan moves with a view to making them permanent.
#
Emile Heskey will get one last big move.
Teams are looking for something a bit different at this time of year, and Heskey certainly offers something unique. Liverpool may feel the need for a replacement for Crouch, so the big striker may return to Anfield.
#
There will be one or two massive surprises.
There always is!
Although for me its not a happy beginning to the new year. This is due to the fact that the first of January is marked by the opening of the transfer window. I wonder if my club has been involved in any business so far. I've decided that in the bliss of knowing nothing about what has happened in football in the last six weeks I will make a few predictions about what will happen during the window.
#
Man City will not sign any world class players.
I still don't buy this whole Man City revolution thing. Why would Kaka or Buffon want to go to Eastlands? And I doubt that Mark Hughes would want a team full of fancy foreigners anyway. Expect City to aim for more realistic targets such as Santa Cruz, Lucas Neill, Gareth Barry and Michael Owen to be on their radar.
#
Andrey Arshavin will move.
With the Russian season over, I doubt Zenit will be able to deny the classy winger his desire of a move to one of Europe's best. Expect Chelsea, Barcelona and Spurs to be possible suitors for the Russian.
#
Loan moves will dominate.
With money tight, it is likely that the majority of goings on in this window will be loan moves with a view to making them permanent.
#
Emile Heskey will get one last big move.
Teams are looking for something a bit different at this time of year, and Heskey certainly offers something unique. Liverpool may feel the need for a replacement for Crouch, so the big striker may return to Anfield.
#
There will be one or two massive surprises.
There always is!
Days Thirty Four and Thirty Five - 29th & 30th December
Footballers are infamous for struggling to find something useful to do with their lives after their time in the game ends. Those that don't end up in coaching or management often find it difficult to find a new career outwith football. So this lead to me thinking about trying out some of the post-football activities that ex-footballers have taken up in their retirement years .
Lumberjack -
Former Swedish international Klass Ingesson now plys his trade chopping down trees, so I thought this would be pretty fun to try out. Our Christmas tree is looking a quite unhealthy by this stage of the festive season, so I climb in to the attic and find a small hacksaw. I gradually butcher all the large branches left on the tree, until I have separated it into quarters. Although the tree can now be easily disposed of and I have had a rare time destroying it, I don't really see this as a career option for me.
Pancake Making -
Former Southampton defender Ken Monkou has invested the money he earned from football in a pancake cafe back in his native Holland. I decide to give flipping crepes a go by making them for my whole family. The first few are decidedly dodgy, but I soon get the hang of the process and by pancake three I am producing world class crepes. I am not sure how receptive the average Glaswegian palate would be to such a continental dish, but I decide I like Monkou's career choice.
Gambling -
Numerous footballers have become gambling addicts before and after they have retired from the game. I don't have the budget of your average Premiership star, but I dedicate a whole £25 to spend on a horse racing. I know nothing about racing, and I begin by betting small. Initially, I do quite well and on my third bet I win twelve quid. My winning streak is short though and I am soon out of money. I don't really get any rush from betting and decide that it's not for me.
Stand up -
Footballers such as Neil Ruddock and Rodney Marsh now make a living by giving speeches at club dinners and the like. I decide to inflict a couple of my friends to a ten minute speech full of anecdotes about my past. I am greeted with glares and everyone seems to think that this whole no football thing has finally got to me. I decide that I am not interesting enough to make a career out of speaking.
Lumberjack -
Former Swedish international Klass Ingesson now plys his trade chopping down trees, so I thought this would be pretty fun to try out. Our Christmas tree is looking a quite unhealthy by this stage of the festive season, so I climb in to the attic and find a small hacksaw. I gradually butcher all the large branches left on the tree, until I have separated it into quarters. Although the tree can now be easily disposed of and I have had a rare time destroying it, I don't really see this as a career option for me.
Pancake Making -
Former Southampton defender Ken Monkou has invested the money he earned from football in a pancake cafe back in his native Holland. I decide to give flipping crepes a go by making them for my whole family. The first few are decidedly dodgy, but I soon get the hang of the process and by pancake three I am producing world class crepes. I am not sure how receptive the average Glaswegian palate would be to such a continental dish, but I decide I like Monkou's career choice.
Gambling -
Numerous footballers have become gambling addicts before and after they have retired from the game. I don't have the budget of your average Premiership star, but I dedicate a whole £25 to spend on a horse racing. I know nothing about racing, and I begin by betting small. Initially, I do quite well and on my third bet I win twelve quid. My winning streak is short though and I am soon out of money. I don't really get any rush from betting and decide that it's not for me.
Stand up -
Footballers such as Neil Ruddock and Rodney Marsh now make a living by giving speeches at club dinners and the like. I decide to inflict a couple of my friends to a ten minute speech full of anecdotes about my past. I am greeted with glares and everyone seems to think that this whole no football thing has finally got to me. I decide that I am not interesting enough to make a career out of speaking.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Days Thirty Two and Thirty Three - 27th & 28th December
It's the day that I have been dreading. The day when Glasgow comes to a standstill. The 27th of December brings the second Old Firm derby of the season.
If you haven't been in Glasgow on derby day then you won't understand the atmosphere that engulfs the city on this day. The whole week before the game is tense. Families and friends argue over what will happen and old scores are settled on the pitch.
Going out on the day of an Old Firm match is difficult due to the police presence and transport problems that accompany the atmosphere. The fact that glasgow Central Station is closed as well means that I can't even go shopping or anything like that. I decide that the only way I will be able to avoid this one is by hiding in a dark corner. I pace up and down in my room for the 3 hours or so that the match coverage runs. Running through all possible scenarios in my head as to what could happen. Am I missing a classic? No surely, it'll be a 0-0 or Rangers might even win. I literally recoil into the foetal position, and resign myself to having to take a nap. I cant sleep due to nervous tension.
If you haven't been in Glasgow on derby day then you won't understand the atmosphere that engulfs the city on this day. The whole week before the game is tense. Families and friends argue over what will happen and old scores are settled on the pitch.
Going out on the day of an Old Firm match is difficult due to the police presence and transport problems that accompany the atmosphere. The fact that glasgow Central Station is closed as well means that I can't even go shopping or anything like that. I decide that the only way I will be able to avoid this one is by hiding in a dark corner. I pace up and down in my room for the 3 hours or so that the match coverage runs. Running through all possible scenarios in my head as to what could happen. Am I missing a classic? No surely, it'll be a 0-0 or Rangers might even win. I literally recoil into the foetal position, and resign myself to having to take a nap. I cant sleep due to nervous tension.
Saturday, 27 December 2008
Days Thirty and Thirty One - 25th and 26th December
Merry Christmas everyone!
At this time of year, everyone tends to think about the good things in life. So this leads me to thinking about football. I'm more than 3/4 of the way through this experiment and I have to admit that I am missing football. But will this forty days of footy abstinence change my life drastically? I decided to list all the good and bad effects that football has on my life. (Before I begin, a shout goes out to my friend Matt who bought me figurines of David Seaman and Chris Sutton to accompany through the last ten days of the ban)
Positives
Social aspect - meeting people, talking about football
Positive feeling when my team wins
Makes me relax
Experience of going to games
Being able to connect with people throughout the world through sport
Travelling to different places to see different teams
Getting to take my anger out on innocent sportsmen
Staying fit by playing football
Reason to drink beer
Negatives
Social aspect - avoid meeting people to watch football
Anger and frustration when my team loses
Makes me stress
Waste money going to games
Boring people from throughout the world with pointless football knowledge
Travelling to awful places to see matches that are invetibly an anti-climax
Taking my anger out on innocent sportsmen
Seeing how unfit I am playing football whilst realising I will never be good enough to play in 'a real game'
Reason to drink beer
At this time of year, everyone tends to think about the good things in life. So this leads me to thinking about football. I'm more than 3/4 of the way through this experiment and I have to admit that I am missing football. But will this forty days of footy abstinence change my life drastically? I decided to list all the good and bad effects that football has on my life. (Before I begin, a shout goes out to my friend Matt who bought me figurines of David Seaman and Chris Sutton to accompany through the last ten days of the ban)
Positives
Social aspect - meeting people, talking about football
Positive feeling when my team wins
Makes me relax
Experience of going to games
Being able to connect with people throughout the world through sport
Travelling to different places to see different teams
Getting to take my anger out on innocent sportsmen
Staying fit by playing football
Reason to drink beer
Negatives
Social aspect - avoid meeting people to watch football
Anger and frustration when my team loses
Makes me stress
Waste money going to games
Boring people from throughout the world with pointless football knowledge
Travelling to awful places to see matches that are invetibly an anti-climax
Taking my anger out on innocent sportsmen
Seeing how unfit I am playing football whilst realising I will never be good enough to play in 'a real game'
Reason to drink beer
Days Twenty Eight & Twenty Nine - 23rd and 24th December
So throughout the last couple of weeks, I've tried a few different sports to crave off my desires for the beautiful game. Today, I went for the most traditional and un-Scottish game of them all - cricket. One of my friends has admitted that he would rather watch gay porn than cricket. I'm not sure I would say I dislike the game this much, but it's still not exactly my favorite pasttime. Watching the last game of the England - India test match means that I have to stay up all night. I consider whether or not to watch some porn during the tea break, as this is what most 'normal' people stay up all night for.
It's actually a myth that noone in Scotland likes cricket. My brother, for instance, actually plays for our local club and regularly watches matches when they are on. He is my guide for the night, and immediately informs me that India have already won the series, so this match is pointless. I consider going back to bed...
The action begins with India winning the toss. I wonder why this is important, as not even in a penalty shootout during the World Cup final is this amount of attention given to the result of a heads or tails. I drop in a 'who gives a toss' joke. Sehwag immediately gets out early on, but Rahul Dravid bats 100 to ensure that India remain in control. India finish on 453, and its upm to England to battle back.
By about 3am, I am growing extremely tired. The score lies at England on 187-1. They are playing well but never really look convinced that they can achieve victory. I take my misery out on Kevin Pietersen, as I know he is one of the few cricketers who has a popstar wife. Wannabee footballer! Why would you want to be a footballer?
The England lower order disappeer pretty quickly and this improves my mood. But I begin to prey for the game to end. I'm bored and extremely tired. I actually fall asleep for a bit, and wake up to find India on 134-5. I barely even know what this means at this point.
About two hours or so later, and its all over. India declared on 251, and proceed to put their whole team out to bowl. With cricket meant to be a gentlemanly sport, I feel that this has to be considered bringing the game into disrepute. The game ends a draw. I will never ever complain about a 0-0 draw ever again.
On the whole, cricket was pretty disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I would enjoy a day out at Lords complete with a hamper, strawberries and champagne. But watching a test match in the middle of the night has done nothing but made me tired and grumpy.
It's actually a myth that noone in Scotland likes cricket. My brother, for instance, actually plays for our local club and regularly watches matches when they are on. He is my guide for the night, and immediately informs me that India have already won the series, so this match is pointless. I consider going back to bed...
The action begins with India winning the toss. I wonder why this is important, as not even in a penalty shootout during the World Cup final is this amount of attention given to the result of a heads or tails. I drop in a 'who gives a toss' joke. Sehwag immediately gets out early on, but Rahul Dravid bats 100 to ensure that India remain in control. India finish on 453, and its upm to England to battle back.
By about 3am, I am growing extremely tired. The score lies at England on 187-1. They are playing well but never really look convinced that they can achieve victory. I take my misery out on Kevin Pietersen, as I know he is one of the few cricketers who has a popstar wife. Wannabee footballer! Why would you want to be a footballer?
The England lower order disappeer pretty quickly and this improves my mood. But I begin to prey for the game to end. I'm bored and extremely tired. I actually fall asleep for a bit, and wake up to find India on 134-5. I barely even know what this means at this point.
About two hours or so later, and its all over. India declared on 251, and proceed to put their whole team out to bowl. With cricket meant to be a gentlemanly sport, I feel that this has to be considered bringing the game into disrepute. The game ends a draw. I will never ever complain about a 0-0 draw ever again.
On the whole, cricket was pretty disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I would enjoy a day out at Lords complete with a hamper, strawberries and champagne. But watching a test match in the middle of the night has done nothing but made me tired and grumpy.
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