So throughout the last couple of weeks, I've tried a few different sports to crave off my desires for the beautiful game. Today, I went for the most traditional and un-Scottish game of them all - cricket. One of my friends has admitted that he would rather watch gay porn than cricket. I'm not sure I would say I dislike the game this much, but it's still not exactly my favorite pasttime. Watching the last game of the England - India test match means that I have to stay up all night. I consider whether or not to watch some porn during the tea break, as this is what most 'normal' people stay up all night for.
It's actually a myth that noone in Scotland likes cricket. My brother, for instance, actually plays for our local club and regularly watches matches when they are on. He is my guide for the night, and immediately informs me that India have already won the series, so this match is pointless. I consider going back to bed...
The action begins with India winning the toss. I wonder why this is important, as not even in a penalty shootout during the World Cup final is this amount of attention given to the result of a heads or tails. I drop in a 'who gives a toss' joke. Sehwag immediately gets out early on, but Rahul Dravid bats 100 to ensure that India remain in control. India finish on 453, and its upm to England to battle back.
By about 3am, I am growing extremely tired. The score lies at England on 187-1. They are playing well but never really look convinced that they can achieve victory. I take my misery out on Kevin Pietersen, as I know he is one of the few cricketers who has a popstar wife. Wannabee footballer! Why would you want to be a footballer?
The England lower order disappeer pretty quickly and this improves my mood. But I begin to prey for the game to end. I'm bored and extremely tired. I actually fall asleep for a bit, and wake up to find India on 134-5. I barely even know what this means at this point.
About two hours or so later, and its all over. India declared on 251, and proceed to put their whole team out to bowl. With cricket meant to be a gentlemanly sport, I feel that this has to be considered bringing the game into disrepute. The game ends a draw. I will never ever complain about a 0-0 draw ever again.
On the whole, cricket was pretty disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I would enjoy a day out at Lords complete with a hamper, strawberries and champagne. But watching a test match in the middle of the night has done nothing but made me tired and grumpy.
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